BACK TO SCHOOL
Learn and share tips from Calah's Reiki Toolkit to support your student's big feelings and have success at school.
Hello September.
“It’s the most wonderful time of the year,” the ads tell us and yet we are approaching next week as if it’s doomsday. As our children head back to the classroom they are facing unusual challenges. Concerns for their safety and mental health are paramount. Some students will suffer anxiety of the unknown as well as separation anxiety. Children are leaving their safe home harbour. Many are not only experiencing anxiety over their new classrooms and friendships but separation anxiety leaving home. Home has been their safe harbour for the summer months and for many months and months before that with the many lockdowns experienced.
It is as if anxiety is in the air and you can’t breathe. That is the feeling a twelve year old shared with me on the weekend. And, his Mom agreed saying she always felt the September long weekend was a flight or fight time. For her, she didn’t want to get the kids back to school, she wanted to keep them safe from bullies, difficult teachers and routines. This year there is the added risk school doors will shut down as soon as they open as a result of the fourth wave of the pandemic.
Hopefully for your child, the excitement of getting back to school’s routine and being with friends again will outweigh severe anxiety.
How do you as a parent and caregiver cope with your child’s anxiety? There are a few tools from the Reiki toolkit that can help. Plus, plenty of sleep.
TOOLS for #backtoschool
TAPPING - EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE
My junior clients love to learn tapping. I teach it to help them deal with their overwhelms, the stress that boils up, the fear that gives them tummy aches. It can also work great for overwhelmed Moms and Dads. Say aloud, “Let’s EFT it!” Kids love to shout EFT and no it isn’t an acronym for swear words but short for Emotional Freedom Technique. And, that’s what we are giving them – a tool to free their anxiety.
It’s important to first recognize the feelings of anxiety. Do they experience a tummy ache, butterflies? Do they want to flee as in fight or flight scenario? Once they have recognized or label that feeling, tell them they can tap their wrist and as a result of the tapping make the feeling diminish and they will feel better. They will feel more in control.
STEP ONE. I SEE YOU. I HEAR YOU. Recognize and validate their feelings.
Recognize their feeling. It’s important for parents to validate their children’s feelings. If they tell you they are feeling scared, let them know you are glad they shared. Don’t go into a deep dive about the feeling but do re-iterate. Let’s say your child is going to miss you and they are worried you won’t be able to work your computer. I have an exceptional young client who is very worried about leaving Dad because when Dad struggles with Windows 10, he helps him get it back up and running. So, in this case you might say, “I think you are saying you will miss me and I’ll miss you and I can google for tech support. I’m so proud of you.” Leave the conversation on an upbeat note and try to end with a compliment.
STEP TWO. What’s your MANTRA?
Share with your child again that you recognize their feelings and want to provide a tool to help them. You may share a time when you were overwhelmed at school with a strong feeling that paralyzed you from doing your best. Try not to get in to specific issues you think will cause a problem for them, i.e. friendships, learning, bullying ... this can overwhelm and build anxiety.
Share with your child that you and many of their favourite Influencers (Jessica Alba, Spiderman, the majority of the Avengers, BTS members) have tried these tools for their big feelings and it has helped you so if they are interested in learning, you’d love to share. Or, ask them if they’d like to learn a trick or tip to help with their big feelings. Keep It Simple is important so not to add any additional anxiety for the child.
Ask the child what they would say to get rid of the feeling. What you want to do is shift the feeling and dissipate it’s strength. So, a mantra is a great way to concentrate on a positive thought and release and negative. It can be the name of their favourite super hero or cartoon character that gives them strength or whom they emulate. Or, it can be words that say what the shift is intended to make the feeling do – “Go away,” “I am strong.” Some children make one up and/or use EFT!
Have the child say it out loud. They can shout it. Then have them say it in their head. One can always shout in their head. The trick to internalizing the mantra is so not to draw outside attention to the shifting process. It’s their tool and no one others! Unless they share and do I ever love to hear stories of how kids share their tools on the playground.
STEP THREE. EFT TAP TAP TAP
Ask the child what concerns them again. Ask them on a scale of one to ten how does it feel. Is it strong like a ten or just a little strong like a 3. This will give you the opportunity to see how Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) brings the feeling down from a 9 or 10 to a 3 or 4. Or, better!
Have the child take their index and middle finger on their right hand (unless they are left handed and reverse) and hold the other fingers together in their palm. Then have the child tap lightly on the side of the base of their thumb on the opposite hand.
Remind them to use their mantra. How many taps? It’s up to your child could be 3 – 5 with a rest and then another set. It’s not to be a long drawn out process but an opportunity to receive emotional freedom from the feeling. Hence, Emotional Freedom Technique.
This is just one of many tools to provide your child with in their back to school backpack. I hope it will be one of their most valuable and they will use it when they need it. It is perfect to pull out before a test, a speech or the principal!
May you and your children have a safe and happy school year. If I can help in any way with a Reiki session online, please call. Cx
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