I Need Help with Boundary Setting

Setting the intention to practice boundary setting involves a few key steps to ensure you are clear, committed, and consistent. Here’s a guide to help you get started:

Steps to Set the Intention for Boundary Setting

  1. Self-Awareness: Begin by understanding your own needs and limits. Reflect on situations where you feel uncomfortable, stressed, or overwhelmed. Grab a piece of paper and journal exactly what your triggers are - once you recognize where the issues are, you can see where boundaries are needed to be set! 

  2. Define Your Boundaries: Clearly articulate what your boundaries are. Be specific about what behaviors or situations you are willing to accept and what you are not. For example, Mark's roommate often enters his room without knocking and borrows his personal items without asking permission. Mark can define the boundary with his roommate advising that he needs him to knock and wait for permission before entering his room to ask and borrow any of his belongings. Clearly defining and communicating the boundary, gives Mark a healthier and more respectful environment in which to live. 

  3. Set Clear Goals: Establish what you hope to achieve by setting these boundaries. Whether it’s reducing stress, improving relationships, or protecting your time, having clear goals will reinforce your commitment. A perfect boundary to improve work-life balance is to set the specific boundary that you will not respond to work emails or messages after 8 PM. This ensures your personal time is protected, reduces stress and prevents burnout allowing for relaxation and personal interest time that is crucial for maintaining a healthy work-life balance. 

  4. Communicate Assertively: Practice expressing your boundaries in a calm and respectful manner. Use “I” statements to convey your needs without blaming or criticizing others. An example, "I need my Friday nights for self-care." 

  5. Consistency is Key: Consistently uphold your boundaries. It’s important to follow through with the limits you set, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Oh, the guilts may set in but kick them to the curb - this is your time, you are worthy of this boundary for your health and well-being. Others will understand and respect your boundaries. 

  6. Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, your therapist or Reiki Master. You may need a little encouragement and suport to stay accountable in your boundary-setting goals. You've got this!!!!  

  7. Practice Self-Care: Setting boundaries is a form of self-care. It's OK to prioritize YOU! Setting boundaries is essential for maintaining a healthy, positive and balanced life. 

Example: Setting Boundaries with Technology

Scenario: You find that constant notifications and screen time are affecting your mental health and productivity.

  1. Self-Awareness: Recognize that excessive screen time is causing stress and distraction. You're not alone with these distractions. You can't be yelling at your kids to get off the games when you're scrolling IG most of the night! Be honest for your health. Self-awareness is key. 
  2. Define Your Boundaries: Decide to limit screen time to specific hours of the day. Check your stats and see where you may have an issue in overdoing your screen-time. I know when I saw my YouTube stats this summer, I couldn't believe how I was going down the spiral of k-dramas and staying up late! 
  3. Set Clear Goals: Aim to reduce stress and improve focus by limiting screen time. Call on Alexa to set a timer for you if you don't adhere to the timer you set for yourself on your hand-held devices. 
  4. Communicate Assertively: Inform friends and family about your new screen time limits. I advise family if it's an emergency to call me on the land line Friday nights because I am not available on socials. 
  5. Consistency is Key: Stick to your screen time schedule, even if it’s challenging. Set a spot for your phone either at the front door or outside your bedroom and keep to the location to support your time off the screen! 
  6. Seek Support: Ask a friend to help you stay accountable. I asked hubby but that didn't work out so well because he was scrolling alongside me! Your Reiki Master can check in and support your accountability. Or, download an App to support your goals. 
  7. Practice Self-Care: Use the extra time for activities that promote relaxation and well-being. Try the Reiki Self-Care eLearning course for exercises on breathing, meditation and key relaxation tips! 

By setting clear intentions and following these steps, you can effectively practice boundary setting and create a healthier, more balanced life. You're not going to move the mountain overnight. Be kind to yourself. Try small changes and work towards your full goal. Be well, dear souls. Cx 

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